Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,380

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Men absolutely love buying the same shirt in four almost identical colors and saying, ‘Yep, that’ll do me for the next three years.’

Seen just now on Snapchat:

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Shared recently on Threads:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Going viral on Discord:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

Breaking via Reddit:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sliding into DMs like: "I brought cookies, but they burned. Perfect match? 🍪🔥😅"

disappointment, DM, humor, me, media, messaging, only, sarcasm, social, social media

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

0

2 months ago

cleaning, dog, dogs, dropped, dropped food, food, humor, i, joke, people, pet, pick, responsibility
Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

0

2 months ago

anyone, ChatGPT, else, heart, heart surgery, humor, issue, medical, medical humor, middle, online, online outage, outage, surgeon, surgery, technical, technical issue, technology, technology humor
I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

0

4 months ago

child, debt, family, finance, humor, i, joke, love, me, money, parenting, parents, pay, spending, world
My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

0

2 months ago

barbecue, bikini, call, fitness, food, fun, goal, good, humor, outdoor, summer, temptation
In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, alive, army, battle, death, Eager, easy, Europe, heads, history, humor, life, medieval, pretty, wanted
Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

0

2 months ago

addiction, adrift, entertainment, feeling, feeling adrift, HBO, HBO show, humor, morality, show, spirituality, Sunday, television

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on X this month:

“I should’ve peed before I left,” will be my epitaph.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

45 shares on Threads this month:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

86 shares on Discord this month:

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

11 shares on Telegram this month:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

Making waves on YouTube:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Making waves on Slack:

Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

Just shared via YouTube:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨