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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,346

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Shared recently on Threads:

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

Spotted on Reddit:

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

Just landed via Discord:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Breaking via Threads:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

4 weeks ago

Witty quote about online mischief and real-life annoyances in a playful tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs real-life drama when you can have online chaos instead? 😜💻 Let the annoyances begin! #InternetLife"

annoy, humor, i, interaction, life, me, online, people, real, real life, sarcasm, social, social interaction

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Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

53 shares on Slack this month:

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

61 shares on Slack this month:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

I can resist everything except temptation.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

35 shares on Discord this month:

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Shared recently on WeChat:

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

Breaking via TikTok:

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

Just shared via WeChat:

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

Spotted on Snapchat:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Making waves on Telegram:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨