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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,481

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Spreading quickly via X:

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

Just landed via Slack:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Just shared via Telegram:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

Just shared via Slack:

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

It’s crazy that things have got to a point where you can say, “Jurassic Park 3 is one of the better movies in the series.”

Just shared via X:

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

Just shared via Slack:

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

Going bananas on Reddit:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Funny quote about people claiming they never do something, then doing it anyway with flair.

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Commentary:
When "never" turns into their new favorite hobby! 😂🤦‍♂️✨

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

2 weeks ago

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First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

3 days ago

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Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

2 weeks ago

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Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

19 hours ago

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Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

1 week ago

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Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

2 days ago

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Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

94 shares on X this month:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

61 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

82 shares on X this month:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

Trending via YouTube:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

Breaking via Telegram:

People should come with warning labels.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

Spotted on TikTok:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

Just shared via X:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

Trending via WeChat:

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Keep the laugh going 😂

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨