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Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

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Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Just shared via WeChat:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Trending via Telegram:

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

Live now on TikTok:

Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.

Shared recently on X:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text about male grooming trends with playful, tongue-in-cheek humor.

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Commentary:
Ah, the evolution of the stylish bro: from metro to performative. Next stop, fashion icon! 🚀👠💅

bit, gender, gender role, guy, humor, just, little, male, metrosexual, performative, performative male, rebrand, role, say, sexuality, slang, stereotype, straight, straight guy

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Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

People text you when you look good in photos.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

53 shares on X this month:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Why touch grass when you can touch ass?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.

Going viral on WeChat:

I want time to watch more films, but I also want time to read more books, but I also want time to look at more nothing.

Trending via Discord:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Trending via Telegram:

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

Making waves on Reddit:

Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

Spotted on TikTok:

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

Freshly posted on X:

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

Live now on Instagram:

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

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Activity Log ✨

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

I will sit in the rain about this.

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

I will sit in the rain about this.

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨