Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,574

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

Breaking via Facebook:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Just landed via Facebook:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Just landed via Messenger:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Just landed via X:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

Making waves on Messenger:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🚓 Police officer: please step out of your vehicle.
🤣 Me: after this song, hold on.
🎶 *Busts out dance moves inside the car* 😄🚗

after, distraction, hold, humor, me, officer, police, response, situation, song, step, vehicle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sure, I could get off the couch today, but then what?

0

5 months ago

couch, humor, i, laziness, motivation, procrastination, sure, today
Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

0

3 months ago

adulthood, adulting, chore, humor, life, neverending, responsibility, shit, story
I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

0

2 months ago

allowed, behavior, house, humor, independence, own, permission, social, social behavior, surprise
If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

0

2 months ago

choice, drama, dramatic, empowerment, exit, finale, humor, independence, leave, Netflix, option, relationship, season, self-respect, treat
If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moments, capri, Capri Sun, childhood, ever, humor, imagination, imagine, intimidation, just, moments, relatable, snack, someone, sun
If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

0

2 months ago

Airwrecka, call, daughter, Erica, ever, going, humor, i, name, spell, spelling

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

76 shares on X this month:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

59 shares on Discord this month:

He took my last fry, your honor.

39 shares on Slack this month:

Happiness is an inside job.

50 shares on X this month:

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

Shared recently on X:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Freshly posted on X:

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

Just landed via Slack:

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

Shared recently on Facebook:

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sure, I could get off the couch today, but then what?

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨