Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,707

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

Going viral on Telegram:

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

Trending via Threads:

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

Spotted on Threads:

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Spotted on YouTube:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Seen just now on TikTok:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Just landed via Twitch:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Going viral on Slack:

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Unlocking new levels of vocabulary: the DIY furniture edition! 🛠️🤬🤯

assembly, even, frustration, furniture, humor, kid, kids, learn, parenting, piece, putting, swear, swear word, today, together, word, words

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

0

2 months ago

client, Epstein, humor, joke, list, Mambo, music, number, parody, tune
Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

0

2 months ago

$50 bill, 50, bill, bus, bus driver, drive, driver, funny situation, humor, joke, just, just drive, situation, spontaneity, transportation
If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

0

2 months ago

faith, God, helium, humor, inhale, irony, joke, laugh, plans, tell, want
Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

0

2 months ago

awkward, communication, dating, dialogue, dog, humor, i, just, man, me, pet, relationships, same, sometimes, talk, voice, want
Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

0

2 months ago

concern, exercise, heat, humor, jogging, okay, people, seriously, shout, shout out, sure
I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

0

3 weeks ago

am, clothing, difference, fashion, gender, gender difference, humor, i, men, mini, mini skirt, options, outfit, quarter, quarter zip, skirt, why, wish, zip

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Threads this month:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

73 shares on X this month:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

79 shares on X this month:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

What are y’all gonna do when those labubus come to life and start biting y’alls ankles?

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Trending via TikTok:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Trending via Threads:

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

Seen just now on X:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Spotted on WeChat:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Live now on WeChat:

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

Spotted on Threads:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨