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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,733

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

Just shared via Reddit:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Trending via Pinterest:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

Trending via Pinterest:

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Unlocking new levels of vocabulary: the DIY furniture edition! 🛠️🤬🤯

assembly, even, frustration, furniture, humor, kid, kids, learn, parenting, piece, putting, swear, swear word, today, together, word, words

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

4 months ago
alien, alien invasion, change, change of pace, hostile, humor, invasion, nice, pace, sarcasm, sounds
I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

1 month ago
account, anxiety, attack, bank, bank account, financial, financial stress, humor, i, me, money, panic, panic attack, personification, stress, wonder
Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

4 months ago
attitude, eating, hate, here, humor, imagine, indulgence, jar, just, me, Nutella, over, snack, spoon
What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

1 month ago
awareness, awful, bad, bad time, current, current events, even, events, frustration, going, humor, irony, sarcasm, time, world
Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

1 month ago
brand, brand new week, excited, hanging, hanging on, humor, motivation, new, optimism, struggle, super, thread, week
Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

4 months ago
check, childhood, code, digital, digital life, email, ever, humor, i, life, online, online security, security, technology, verification, verification code, wanted, young

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Just shared via Telegram:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

Going bananas on Twitch:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

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Activity Log ✨

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Happiness is an inside job.

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

Therapy? I have Spotify.

Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby Is this guy bothering you?

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

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Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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