Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

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Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

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Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

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I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

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Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.