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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Twitter is basically introverts gone wild.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,277

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

My mom be cutting up fruit and bringing it to me in my room without saying nothing. That’s when it hits me, nobody ever gonna love me this much.

Making waves on Instagram:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Spotted on YouTube:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Going viral on Threads:

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

Just landed via TikTok:

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That's one way to keep it all in the family! 🤦‍♀️😂👶

childbirth, everyone, family, funny realization, here, humor, husband, i, kid, kids, pregnancy, realization, realize, room, sitting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

0

2 months ago

crazy, every, exercise, going, health, health tip, humor, person, recommendation, smart, smart person, tip, walk, walks
One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

0

2 months ago

able, adulting, being, boundary, excuse, mom, over, said, say, someone, sucks, thing, visitor, want
All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

0

2 months ago

ambition, being, bezos, comparison, humor, jeff, Jeff Bezos, millionaire, saying, wealth
You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

0

2 months ago

before, breath, deep, deep breath, dumb, ever, humor, met, responding, someone, take
I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

0

2 months ago

doing, drinking, dry, Dry January, humor, January, just, lips, self-care, skin
I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

0

3 weeks ago

book, horny, humor, i, lifestyle, reading, self-awareness, should, something, start, toxic

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

32 shares on Threads this month:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

60 shares on Threads this month:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

26 shares on Threads this month:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

60 shares on Slack this month:

We decided to have money instead of children.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

Making dinner with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I have thought one billion times about everything.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

My toxic trait is optimism.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

Trending via Snapchat:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Spotted on Reddit:

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

Freshly posted on X:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Live now on X:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Just landed via Telegram:

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

Making waves on Messenger:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨