19 funny pregnancy quotes - Wordgag

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

May 21, 2026

Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

May 21, 2026

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

May 19, 2026

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

May 18, 2026

I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

Apr 1, 2026

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

Apr 1, 2026

I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.

Apr 1, 2026

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Mar 31, 2026

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

Mar 31, 2026

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

Mar 31, 2026

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

Mar 31, 2026

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

Mar 29, 2026

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Mar 29, 2026

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Mar 28, 2026

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Mar 28, 2026

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Mar 27, 2026

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Mar 26, 2026

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Mar 26, 2026

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

Mar 25, 2026