Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.
  • Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.
  • People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?
  • How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?
  • My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.
  • If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.