Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.