20 funny checking quotes - Wordgag

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

May 19, 2026

Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.

May 18, 2026

Checking a selfie only to find there’s a demon in the reflection behind you, and it looks significantly healthier than you.

May 18, 2026

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

Mar 31, 2026

Microdosing hell by checking the web every day.

Mar 31, 2026

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

Mar 31, 2026

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Mar 30, 2026

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Mar 29, 2026

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Mar 28, 2026

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

Mar 28, 2026

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

Mar 27, 2026

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Mar 27, 2026

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Mar 26, 2026

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

Mar 26, 2026

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Mar 26, 2026

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Mar 25, 2026

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Mar 25, 2026

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

Mar 24, 2026

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Mar 24, 2026

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Mar 24, 2026