Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Nosferatu 2024, Frankenstein 2025, and Werwulf 2026. I was born at exactly the right time.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Dec 22, 2025

3,628

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

Spotted on Twitch:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Seen just now on Slack:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

Seen just now on X:

He who laughs last didn’t get it.

Trending via Telegram:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Just landed via Discord:

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

Spotted on Instagram:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

4 weeks ago

0

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Getting ready for the ultimate feast battle: Forks first, questions later! 🍴🤣🦃

celebration, cute, food, fork, holding, holiday, humor, just, me, medieval, medieval warrior, Thanksgiving, trying, warrior, while

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

0

1 month ago

activity, camping, convenience, dirt, floor, home, humor, leave, let, nature, outdoor, outdoor activity, shower, squirrels, stay
I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

0

5 months ago

ever, family, going, gym, humor, i, inside, joke, misunderstanding, nephew, recover, said, should, sister, telling, think
Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

0

2 months ago

attention, cost, financial, humor, i, joke, pay, poor, self-deprecation, sorry, witty
Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

0

1 month ago

dating, found, humor, maybe, reason, romance, sarcasm, soul, soulmate, wit
You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

0

2 months ago

appetite, asked, bottomless, bottomless pit, eater, food, humor, i, kid, lunch, meal, parenting, picky, picky eater, pit, thanks, want, yesterday
Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

0

1 month ago

back, both, change, channel, childhood, day, exaggeration, humor, nostalgia, technology, TV, uphill, walk, ways

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on X this month:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

88 shares on Slack this month:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

14 shares on Threads this month:

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

90 shares on Slack this month:

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

85 shares on Threads this month:

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

13 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,596

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Seen just now on X:

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Spotted on Slack:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

Trending via Telegram:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

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