Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

354 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,623

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,623

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,296

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Just shared via Slack:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

Live now on Pinterest:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Just landed via Messenger:

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

Trending via Messenger:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Spotted on YouTube:

Weddings should have a worst man.

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Getting ready for the ultimate feast battle: Forks first, questions later! 🍴🤣🦃

celebration, cute, food, fork, holding, holiday, humor, just, me, medieval, medieval warrior, Thanksgiving, trying, warrior, while

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

2 months ago

back, health, humor, irony, knees, least, me, microplastic, microplastics, repair, repair work, self-deprecation, work
Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

5 months ago

actually, cooking, food, fried, frying, good, humor, pretty, taste, vegetable, vegetables
If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

2 months ago

competition, humor, inspiration, lose, mindset, motivation, only, person, self, yourself
Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

2 months ago

electrocution, enough, health, humor, i, joke, memory, mental, mental health, need, therapy
Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

2 months ago

care, child, funny situation, getting, health, health care, humor, immunizations, inappropriate, office, parenting, pediatrician, shots, situation, yell
We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

2 months ago

ancestor, ancestors, birth, condom, family, gathering, here, humor, joke, life, today

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

94 shares on Slack this month:

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

24 shares on X this month:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

Trending via WeChat:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Spotted on Messenger:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Making waves on Telegram:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

Spotted on Reddit:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Going viral on TikTok:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Going viral on Twitch:

It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨