Commentary:
Ready with my tomato catapult for your next misadventure 🍅🎯🤣
Funny medieval quotes
Never did learn what the knights in white sat in.
Commentary:
Sounds like those knights missed the memo on sitting arrangements.
If you accept a knighthood, you should have to participate in at least one jousting tournament a year. The tournaments should be televised.
Commentary:
Sir Lancelot better start training or risk becoming Sir Limpy on live TV! ⚔️📺😂
I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.
Commentary:
Stretch goals… taken a bit too literally! 😂🧘♂️
You amuse me, Jester. You may enter my bed chambers.
Commentary:
Rolling out the red carpet for comedy royalty! 😂👑🛏️
Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.
Commentary:
Getting ready for the ultimate feast battle: Forks first, questions later! 🍴🤣🦃
Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.
Commentary:
"Guess we'll have to stick to a 'knight in shining armor' theme, but your accent's still jousting all over the UK! 😂🏰🌍 #AccentuateThePositive"
In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.
Commentary:
Ah, the good old medieval times – where building an army was as easy as missing dental appointments! 🏰💀 It seems the only thing more terrifying than battle was the thought of dealing with the plummeting life expectancy rates! 😅 #MedievalProblems
Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.
Commentary:
"Oops! Looks like I've left my trusty sword of connectivity at home today. 🤦♂️ Who knew that facing the day without our phones would be as nerve-wracking as facing a dragon without a sword? 🐉⚔️ Stay brave, fellow modern-day knights, and may we all survive this epic quest of forgetfulness!"
Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.
Commentary:
Who knew cars had such wanderlust? Hope it's not road tripping on my gas card too! 🚗💨🐴⛽