Trendy Funny Quotes

  • My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”
  • I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.
  • Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.
  • This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.
  • I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.
  • I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.