I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

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Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

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Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

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…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

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“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

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Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

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Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

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New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

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If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

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I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

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How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.