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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,833

Funny Quotes Topics

17,014

Funny Quotes Images

14,833

Updated

Dec 9, 2025

Users Online

3,925

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

Breaking via Snapchat:

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

Going viral on Snapchat:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Breaking via TikTok:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

4 months ago

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Commentary:
That's why they're always striking up a conversation! 🎳😂💬

actually, after, after work, ball, beef, bowling, bowling ball, friendship, humor, joke, pin, pun, sports, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

2 months ago

adult, comparison, fruit, humor, identity, metaphor, same, tomato
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

4 months ago

bad, bad decision, decision, decisions, everything, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, motivation, reason, sometimes, stupid, stupidity
I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

4 weeks ago

ask, buddy, day, five, frustration, hate, humor, i, know, laziness, listen, me, noon, okay, people, procrastination, time, today, waking, waking up, woke
They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

1 month ago

big, comedy, end, entertainment, film, humor, movie, put, scene, sex, sex scene, show, suggestion, super, supercut, theater, year, year-end
I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

4 weeks ago

activity, grass, health, humor, i, media, mental, mental health, outdoor, outdoor activity, please, relatable, social, social media, still, today
I unload the dishwasher backwards… just to feel something.

4 weeks ago

backwards, chore, dishwasher, feel, feeling, humor, i, just, mundane, mundane task, reverse, sarcasm, something, task

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Spotted on X:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Going viral on Discord:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

Going viral on Threads:

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

I unload the dishwasher backwards… just to feel something.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

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The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

I unload the dishwasher backwards… just to feel something.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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