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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

My tombstone will read “Hey there, I’m using WhatsApp!”.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,276

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Trending via Threads:

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

Live now on Reddit:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Broadcasted on WeChat:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

Just landed via Messenger:

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

Just shared via Discord:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Spotted on Instagram:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

23 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Funny quote about how hot showers feel great but harm hair and skin.

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Commentary:
Ah, the paradox of life—turns out my favorite spa session is also a sabotage mission for my hair! 🚿😱💁‍♀️

actually, being, concept, contradiction, discomfort, disgusting, feeling, good, hair, hot, hot water, hygiene, irony, shower, showers, skin, water

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Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on YouTube this month:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

99 shares on Threads this month:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

58 shares on Reddit this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

Being naked with headphones on is so fun.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

Trending via YouTube:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

Just landed via Telegram:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

Shared recently on Slack:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Going viral on Slack:

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Activity Log ✨

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨