The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

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At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

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Listen to the birds, not the news.

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I can’t work under these festive conditions.

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You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

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I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

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You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

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Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

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Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

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Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?