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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I put the hot in psychotic.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

46 minutes ago

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Just shared via Discord:

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Just landed via Reddit:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

Trending via Discord:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

6 months ago

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Here's a deliciously logical excuse to indulge in cake 🍰 – safety first! Remember, a little extra fluff can be your best defense against being whisked away 🍰🦸‍♂️. So go ahead, treat yourself to some cake and build your own personal fortress! Stay safe, stay sweet! 💪🍰 #CakeIsLife"

cake, eat, fitness, food, harder, humor, kidnap, safe, safety, stay, weigh, weight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

46 minutes ago

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Trending via Slack:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Trending via Messenger:

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

Going viral on X:

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Live now on Slack:

Sheep to the left of me. Cows to the right. Here I am. Stuck on a bus with a view.

Just shared via Pinterest:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Just shared via Slack:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Freshly posted on Discord:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

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