The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

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Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

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The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

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I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

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A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

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If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

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My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

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I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.