The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead. Posted onMay 28, 2026 by slickboy in Funny Quotes 💾 Save Image Commentary:With friends like these, who needs mystery novels? ππ€π Related funny posts π€ βI read 20 books this year!β Thatβs nothing. I read 50,000 tweets. Getting to the age where Iβm like, βOh, hopefully Iβll be dead by then.β βIβm not ordering fries, Iβll just eat some of yours!β -Former friends of mine Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons? Itβs so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.