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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,963

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

Spotted on Slack:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Just shared via Reddit:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Going bananas on Telegram:

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

Going viral on Reddit:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Going bananas on Slack:

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Shared recently on Slack:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your brain demands a DJ salary for keeping up with that stereophonic rollercoaster 🎵🧠🤣

audio, beat, different, ear, funny observation, going, left, listening, music, observation, rhythm, right, sound, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

0

5 months ago

business, business decision, cons, decision, decision making, going, human, human interaction, humor, i, interaction, introversion, love, making, people, pros, pros and cons, socializing, used, weigh
Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

0

2 months ago

frustration, humor, i, life, math, own, personal, personal problems, problem, problems, sarcasm, solve, student, student life, want, witty
Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

0

5 months ago

ask, communication, conversation, dating, humor, irony, men, met, never, personality, question, questions, relationship, say, yourself, zero
I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

0

2 months ago

cabinet, humor, i, insomnia, joke, medicine, medicine cabinet, pill, silence, sleeping, sleeping pill, tiptoe, wake, want
Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

0

2 months ago

1900s, accidentally, calorie, calorie deficit, deficit, diet, everyone, food, humor, i, knows, loss, mistake, old fashioned, old-fashioned phrase, phrase, said, weight, weight loss
I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

0

2 months ago

being, condition, diet, dieting, humor, hunger, hungry, i, me

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

83 shares on WeChat this month:

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

22 shares on Threads this month:

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Self-cleaning conscience.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Just landed via Slack:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

Seen just now on WeChat:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The lion is actually pretty concerned right now.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Spotted on Messenger:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Spotted on Slack:

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨