17 funny beat quotes - Wordgag

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

May 22, 2026

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

May 20, 2026

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

May 19, 2026

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

May 19, 2026

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

May 18, 2026

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

Apr 1, 2026

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

Mar 31, 2026

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Mar 31, 2026

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

Mar 30, 2026Mar 30, 2026

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Mar 30, 2026

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Mar 29, 2026

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Mar 28, 2026

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Mar 28, 2026

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Mar 28, 2026

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Mar 28, 2026

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

Mar 27, 2026

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Mar 27, 2026