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It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

1 month ago
cold, dark, humor, me, outside, relationship, think, weather, winter
And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

1 month ago
after, date, disappointment, expectation, humor, i, legs, relationship, shaved, shaving, think
Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

1 month ago
age, explode, humor, loud, men, sneeze, sound
I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

1 month ago
3, am, back, car, cars, club, coming, glad, horse, humor, imagine, invention, late, late night, night, riding, transportation
If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

1 month ago
disrespect, due, ever, humor, i, irony, none, please, respect, sarcasm, say, understand, witty
Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

1 month ago
adulthood, bed, childhood, couch, end, found, humor, kid, memory, nostalgia, remember, say, saying, sleep, yourself

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Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

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My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

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The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

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Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

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I suffer from awesomnia.

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Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

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I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

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Freshly posted on Facebook:

Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Just shared via Pinterest:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Just shared via Twitch:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Just landed via Twitch:

Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

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The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

You can generate images with your mind whenever you want. You don’t even need AI.

Cracking the ice cubes out probably feels so good for the ice tray.

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

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So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

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The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

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It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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