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🛫✨ Welcome to the exclusive airport for seasoned socialites! Here, we promise smooth takeoffs and landings without any turbulence caused by first-time flyers forgetting basic manners. After all, it's all fun and games until someone tries to board the plane before it even arrives! Fly high with finesse at our airport – where the only baggage we allow is the one you check at the counter. 😉✈️ #TravelLikeAPro #NoNewbiesAllowed

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

2 months ago
30, adulthood, age, celery, day, diet, eating, food, humor, kale, lunch, pizza, salad
Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

1 month ago
apology, awkwardness, distraction, eye, flirting, humor, i, joke, misunderstanding, playful, something, sorry, thought
A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

1 month ago
doing, doing nothing, humor, leisure, nothing, relaxation, rest, spent, weekend, well
If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

1 month ago
ask, asked, due, humor, i, mean, people, pregnant, question, response, sarcasm, say
Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

1 month ago
am, case, cheating, comfort, emotionally, emotionally invested, feel, furniture, humor, i, invested, laziness, loveseat, recliner, relaxation, sometimes, wondering
Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

1 month ago
after, crazy, disaster, even, history, humor, irony, pool, ship, still, think, Titanic, water, year’s

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

My brain is on airplane mode today.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Going viral on WeChat:

Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

Going viral on Messenger:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Trending via Discord:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

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Activity Log ✨

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The government even made aliens boring.

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Happy new fear!

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

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They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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