Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,622

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Who decided that skeletons are scary? Because honestly, I’d be more scared if the muscular system suddenly walked into my room.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Just landed via Threads:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Spotted on Threads:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

Spotted on Telegram:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Going viral on Reddit:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

Making waves on Threads:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That onion's not the only thing making me tear up! 😂🧅😢

chopping, cooking, crying, emotion, food, food preparation, humor, onion, onions, preparation, thinking, while

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

3 months ago
action, actions, consequence, consequences, enjoying, enjoyment, humor, irony
Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

1 month ago
birth, control, Crocs, fashion, fashion joke, footwear, free, humor, humor joke, joke, male, male birth control, socks
Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

1 month ago
activity, back, bag, bread, break, break in, funny activity, house, humor, joke, prank, put, toast
Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

1 month ago
charm, dating, flirting, good, humor, man, much, never, practice, too, trust
A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

1 month ago
bullshit, clarity, foghorn, honesty, humor, own, people, perception
Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

1 month ago
chick, humor, identity, joke, pronouns, relationship, side

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

Trending via YouTube:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Spotted on YouTube:

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

Shared recently on Twitch:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

Breaking via Reddit:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

Making waves on Facebook:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

Spotted on WeChat:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏