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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

342 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,935

Funny Quotes Topics

17,106

Funny Quotes Images

14,935

Updated

Dec 14, 2025

Users Online

3,870

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Going bananas on WeChat:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Going viral on Messenger:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Just shared via Threads:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Just landed via WeChat:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Finally, a language where my awkward silence can be both seen and understood! 😂🤫🙃"

anyone, anything, communication, emoji, expression, humor, interaction, introvert, pretty, say, social, social interaction, sure, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

For whom the doom scrolls!

1 month ago

doom, humor, internet, irony, media, procrastination, reading, scroll, social, social media
The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

3 months ago

battle, battles, better, choreography, conflict, conflict resolution, dance, dance battle, gang, humor, nostalgia, resolution, settled, street, street gang, things, world
I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

4 months ago

actually, before, birthday, check, communication, expectation, happy, honesty, humor, i, interaction, me, memory, social, social interaction, tell, told
I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

2 months ago

age, always, fast, humor, i, life, old, realization, surprise, time
You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

1 month ago

choice, humor, learn, marriage, married, marry, regret, relationship, someone
Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

1 month ago

12, activity, again, book, dumb, entertainment, hours, humor, i, myself, point, procrastination, read, screen, screen time, think, time

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

No plans and no pants kind of day.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

Going viral on YouTube:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Freshly posted on Threads:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Going bananas on Telegram:

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

Trending via Pinterest:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

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I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

For whom the doom scrolls!

The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏