Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,650

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Just landed via Messenger:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Just shared via Telegram:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

Live now on Reddit:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Seen just now on Slack:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Broadcasted on Slack:

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

5 hours ago

Clever and humorous quote about the risky game of spear-throwing, highlighting unintended consequences.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎯🤦‍♂️ Don't put all your spears in one throw! Remember, sharing is caring, but sharing your spear with the enemy might not be the best strategy. It's like playing catch, but with pointy ends involved! Keep your spear close and your aim closer! 🔥🤣

bad, better, consequence, enemy, fine, gamble, humor, irony, just, miss, risk, spear, strategy, throwing, weapon

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Threads this month:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

63 shares on Slack this month:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

22 shares on X this month:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

46 shares on Threads this month:

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My body looks like I have a great personality.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Love is in the air fryer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,713

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

This place was really tidy yesterday. It’s a shame you missed it.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

Just shared via Discord:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Going bananas on Discord:

I didn’t like my beard at first… then it grew on me.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Trying is the first step toward failure.

Spotted on YouTube:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Going bananas on Instagram:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

Trending via Telegram:

Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

Live now on Snapchat:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

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