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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,591

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Just shared via WeChat:

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

Trending via Telegram:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Trending via Snapchat:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

Seen just now on Instagram:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Just landed via Pinterest:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎯🤦‍♂️ Don't put all your spears in one throw! Remember, sharing is caring, but sharing your spear with the enemy might not be the best strategy. It's like playing catch, but with pointy ends involved! Keep your spear close and your aim closer! 🔥🤣

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

31 shares on YouTube this month:

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

At least life has music.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

You ever got inside jokes with yourself, or is that schizophrenia?

92 shares on Telegram this month:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

87 shares on X this month:

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do babies cry when they are tired? Like, just go to sleep, bro, no one is stopping you.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,376

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

My washing machine is over here taking load after load, like Bonnie Blue.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s kinda weird that in order to go to sleep you have to pretend like you are already sleeping.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Trending via WeChat:

In your 20s, you’ll meet a short man. It’s very important you jump over him.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

No, it’s fine. I watched some cartoons and now I feel a little more at ease with your stupidness.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

Spotted on Telegram:

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

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