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New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

18 Funny enemy quotes

Funny enemy quotes bring a hilarious twist to rivalry and drama šŸ˜†šŸ”„ Whether you’re dealing with a frenemies situation or just love a good roast, these witty lines add humor to even the tensest moments šŸ˜‚šŸ’„ Get ready to laugh, clap back, and maybe even make peace with a smile šŸ˜‰šŸ’¬ Because sometimes, the best way to handle enemies is with a clever joke and a wink! šŸ˜œšŸ‘Š

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Turns out that ending meetings with ā€œhave the day you deserveā€ has made me some enemies at work.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

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