Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

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Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

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The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

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Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

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I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

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Fasted for 72 hours and gained the ability to whisper to bats.

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Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

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When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”