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Sounds like you've got a little Sherlock Holmes in the making! 🕵️‍♂️🕸️ Dust, the mysterious foe lurking in the shadows, always questioning our cleanliness standards and making us question our very existence! 😆 Looks like it's time for some investigative cleaning, dear parent detective! 🔍💨

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

1 month ago
arguing, forehead, humor, i, let, once, relationship, tension, vein
Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

1 month ago
court, honor, humor, joke, lawyer, music, plea, pun, Wonderwall
I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

1 month ago
adult, choice, choices, humor, irony, kind, life, life choice, positive, responsibility, self-awareness
No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

1 month ago
achy, Achy Breaky Heart, bad, bad day, breaky, country, country music, dance, day, heart, humor, just, line, line dance, matter, music, remember, seems, someone
Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

1 month ago
alarm, alarm clock, bladder, clock, humor, morning, morning routine, needs, routine, waking, waking up
When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

1 month ago
again, education, elementary, ever, geometry, humor, i, last, memory, rhombus, school, shape, time

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

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Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Trending via Snapchat:

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

Going viral on Threads:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Spotted on Threads:

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

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Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

I hate that I present as an independent woman who doesn’t need any help. It’s a facade. Help me.

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On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

This whole week could have been an email.

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

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Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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