Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

The lion is actually pretty concerned right now.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Raising a teenager is like nailing pudding to the wall.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,609

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Just shared via Discord:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Just landed via Facebook:

A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

Going bananas on TikTok:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Nighttime is when I remember that one weird thing I said in 6th grade, and feel bad about it forever.

Trending via Threads:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sure, I'll just Venmo him my therapy bill as a tip 😂📱💼

border, etiquette, five, guy, history, humor, last, media, need, question, social, social media, tip, us, US etiquette

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

0

2 months ago

bill, divine, divine light, electricity, end, expenses, humor, i, joke, light, me, sunlight, think, tunnel
Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

0

1 month ago

dating, humor, liar, loser, oh, relationship, sarcasm, situationship
Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

0

4 months ago

gift, gift idea, gifting, humor, idea, jewelry, me, never, perfume, present, things, wrong
My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

0

2 months ago

cooking, dinner, else, favorite, food, humor, laziness, meal, preference, someone, someone else
Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

0

3 months ago

argument, arguments, dating, education, humor, misunderstanding, outside, relationship
I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

0

2 months ago

30, break, chore, chores, humor, i, laziness, management, minutes, procrastination, time, time management

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

35 shares on X this month:

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

11 shares on X this month:

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Breaking via Reddit:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

Shared recently on YouTube:

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

Shared recently on TikTok:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Just shared via WeChat:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

Spotted on Twitch:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨