Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

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Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

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Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

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Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

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Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

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I was dropped as an adult.

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Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

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My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.