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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

These aliens are taking forever.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I wasn’t made to hustle and bustle. I was made to dilly and dally.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,581

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

Going viral on Telegram:

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

Trending via Facebook:

What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

Just landed via WeChat:

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

Just shared via Slack:

You don’t need a therapist, you need an exorcist.

Going viral on Reddit:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Trending via WeChat:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Making waves on Telegram:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

Making waves on TikTok:

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

Broadcasted on X:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

3 days ago

Funny quote about resilience, highlighting dark humor with a witty, playful tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Whatever doesn’t kill you is definitely a persistent little troublemaker, just hanging around and plotting its next move like a mischievous squirrel 🐿️. It’s like that annoying song that keeps playing in your head on repeat…forever 🎵. Stay strong, my friend! 💪"

challenge, humor, irony, kill, life, motivation, resilience, still, struggle, survival, trying, whatever

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on X this month:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

13 shares on Slack this month:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

73 shares on Facebook this month:

Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

34 shares on Threads this month:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,604

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

The problem with “treat yourself” is that I don’t know how to stop. I had a bad day in March, and I’ve been treating myself ever since.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

Live now on Reddit:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Just landed via Facebook:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Shared recently on Slack:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

Just shared via TikTok:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Just landed via X:

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

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