Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

What does international law say about a third Margarita?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Don’t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,685

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

Breaking via Pinterest:

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

Seen just now on Discord:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Making waves on Instagram:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Making waves on Twitch:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Trending via TikTok:

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Planning a grand exit, eh? 💥 Just when you thought you’d seen it all, in comes a plot twist! 🎬😂 Always keeping us on our toes, even in the afterlife! 👻 #UnexpectedDemise"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on YouTube this month:

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

63 shares on Slack this month:

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

66 shares on Threads this month:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

26 shares on WeChat this month:

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

14 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t really want to have 6-8 pints and a takeaway tonight, but it’s Friday and rules are rules.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Acting jealous while secretly cheating is a pure talent of witchcraft.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,616

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I hate when someone on a magazine cover stares at me while I eat.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

Making waves on WeChat:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Trending via Facebook:

Tuesday is just another Monday, but reheated.

Going bananas on YouTube:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

Broadcasted on X:

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

Making waves on Discord:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Just shared via Slack:

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

Going bananas on Telegram:

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

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