I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

Commentary:
“Sounds like you’ve got a real-life Rear Window situation on your hands! 🕵️‍♂️ Maybe they’re just big fans of your window decor…or they’re plotting to steal your fabulous curtains! Watch out for any suspicious curtain-related activities! 🤨🏠 #NeighborhoodWatch”

, , , , , , , , , , , ,
New funny quotes →

Advertisement

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

    Commentary:
    “Whoops, hope my tardiness didn’t launch any major concerns! 🤦‍♂️ Next time, I’ll stick to the traditional ‘running late’ excuse instead of aiming for a grand entrance! 🏰💥”

  • My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

    Commentary:
    “Living with someone who just graduated from Hotel Mama – where the room service is unbeatable and the laundry magically does itself – can make you feel like you’ve suddenly become a one-person parent club! 🏨🧳🤷‍♀️ #SingleParentStruggles”

  • Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs a gym membership when you’re getting a daily workout from all those eye rolls? With that kind of exercise regimen, your eyes must be in tip-top shape and ready for the eye-lympics!”

  • I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the golden realization of not giving a poop emoji about those who don’t appreciate your fabulous self! 🤷‍♂️ Stay unbothered and shine on, my friend! 💁‍♀️💅”

  • Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

    Commentary:
    “Imagine the power move of casually dropping ‘My battery is at 5%’ at the start of every call 📱⚡ Nobody would dare keep you on the line for too long! 😂 #PhoneCallGameStrong”

  • Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

    Commentary:
    🍋🤣 “When life gives you lemons, don’t just make lemonade – be the lemon! 🍋😄 Show the world that you’re zesty, tangy, and ready to add a little zest to their day. Who knew being a lemon could be so empowering? 😉🍋 #SourPower”