Commentary:
"Ah, nothing screams romance like 'till death do us start!' 😂💀🌹"
Funny unconventional quotes
I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.
Commentary:
"Who needs spa treatments when you can go full throwback! 🎉🍼 #OGGlow"
Date night idea: fight another couple.
Commentary:
"Looking for a more exciting date night? How about spicing things up by challenging another couple to a friendly battle of wits and charm? 👫💥 Just make sure to agree on rules beforehand, or you might end up with a date night you'll never forget…for all the wrong reasons! 😉 #DoubleTrouble"
You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.
Commentary:
"Who knew crystal healing could be a contact sport! 😂💎 Just watch out for the crystal bruises! ⚡🧦 #SocksAndStonesMayBreakYourBones"
When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”
Commentary:
"Planning a grand exit, eh? 💥 Just when you thought you’d seen it all, in comes a plot twist! 🎬😂 Always keeping us on our toes, even in the afterlife! 👻 #UnexpectedDemise"
While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.
Commentary:
"Who needs a broom when you can flambé the mess away? 🔥🍂 Though, maybe save the flamethrower for the backyard and stick with the leaf blower for inside the house! 😄 #CleaningInStyle"
Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.
Commentary:
Taking the scenic route to Wrong Town and waving as I go! 🚧😂👋