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Commentary:
"Sorry, can't decide between food and love right now. My mouth is too busy experiencing a flavor explosion to provide a coherent response. Ask again after dessert!"

choice, eating, food, humor, life, love, me, people, priorities, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

0

5 months ago

block, blocked, greeting, humor, just, normal, normal person, people, person, weird, weirdo
I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal humor, ever, everyone, experience, feel, hamster, humor, i, kind, pet, traumatic, traumatic experience
Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

0

2 months ago

across, ask, driving, Google, Google Maps, humor, left, left turn, maps, navigation, needs, oncoming, oncoming traffic, safety, setting, take, traffic, turn, where
I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

0

2 months ago

appliance, clock, humor, i, joke, microwave, reset
That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

0

2 months ago

doorbell, hiding, home, introvert, moment, not home, pretending, rings, sneak, tip, tip toe, toe, visitor, window
Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

0

2 months ago

almost, bear, bears, candy, common, comparison, funny observation, gummy, gummy bear, gummy worm, humor, nothing, observation, worm

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

89 shares on Slack this month:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

Somewhere, a therapist you never met knows about you.

92 shares on X this month:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

wearing no bra and oversized clothes is self-care at its finest

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

Trending via YouTube:

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

Seen just now on Telegram:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Seen just now on Twitch:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Live now on Reddit:

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Just landed via Slack:

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

Just landed via Messenger:

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨