Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,549

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Shared recently on Facebook:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

Just landed via Telegram:

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

Live now on Telegram:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Live now on Instagram:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Making waves on Instagram:

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

Just shared via Facebook:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

Spotted on Threads:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Shared recently on Threads:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like my stomach's keeping a scorecard of my bad decisions, and it's losing patience! 🤦‍♂️🍕🥤🍔

causing, choice, choices, diet, health, humor, lifestyle, mad, stomach, stomachache, sure, unhealthy, unhealthy lifestyle, upset, upset stomach

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

0

2 months ago

believe, disbelief, find it funny, floor, hard, hard to believe, humor, i, laughing, rolling
Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

0

2 months ago

career, health, humor, mental, mental health, reason, reevaluation, self-awareness, therapist, therapy
You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

0

6 months ago

behavior, communication, die, enough, humor, leaving, life, live, messaging, modern, modern life, people, people pleaser, pleaser, read, read receipt, receipt, social, social behavior, start, text, texts
Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

0

2 months ago

Christmas, cookie, cowboy, holiday, humor, no show, Santa, show, snack
At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

0

2 months ago

booing, comedy, commentary, humor, literary, movie, prejudice, pride, Pride and Prejudice, satire, screen, social, social commentary, whenever
That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

1

2 months ago

after, bill, bills, budgeting, expense, finance, humor, i, jean, jeans, left, leftover, little, money, over, pay, perfect, pocket, size

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Instagram this month:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

53 shares on Threads this month:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

76 shares on Threads this month:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

17 shares on Discord this month:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

75 shares on Discord this month:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

88 shares on TikTok this month:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

Live now on Slack:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

Going viral on Snapchat:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Spotted on Reddit:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Spotted on Twitch:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨