Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

Just shared via Telegram:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Just landed via Messenger:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

Going bananas on Instagram:

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

Spotted on TikTok:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Making waves on Telegram:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Live now on WeChat:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Just landed via Telegram:

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

Just shared via Instagram:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the fries and my tears combine, it’s called ‘supersize my emotions’ 🍟😭🍔

coping, coping mechanism, cry, emotional, emotional release, fast, fast food, food, humor, just, lot, mechanism, needs, parking, parking lot, release, therapy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

0

4 days ago

embarrassing, embarrassing information, exaggeration, humor, information, interrogation, me, much, pretty, sarcasm, waterboard
When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

0

2 months ago

drive, driving, everyone, faster, house, humor, little, music, politics, president, rap, techno
I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

0

3 months ago

banter, character, character comparison, comparison, feel, game, humor, i, lover, Luigi, Mario, playful, playful banter, prowess, raw, relationship, sensual, sensual lover, video, video game
If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

0

2 months ago

answer, dating, humor, millionaire, money, people, relationships, sarcasm, single, someone
Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

0

2 months ago

aliens, Earth, everyone, existence, exploration, humor, intelligent, intelligent life, irony, life, looking, perspective, space, start
I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

0

2 months ago

camera, chaos, frame, humor, humor quote, i, joke, life, mess, only, together

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Reddit this month:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

15 shares on Threads this month:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

Nobody can ragebait as successfully as your own mother can.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

45 shares on Slack this month:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Staying weird for my own sanity.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

Spotted on Messenger:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Seen just now on Slack:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Trending via Instagram:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

Trending via Telegram:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Just shared via Instagram:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Going viral on Pinterest:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨