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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

“Why would I lie to you?” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a liar.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I forgot how to panic. Help!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,655

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I become someone I don’t recognize when I play Monopoly.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Making waves on Facebook:

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Trending via TikTok:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

Just shared via Slack:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Just shared via Telegram:

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

Making waves on Discord:

I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

2 months ago

0

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, it's a mystery for the ages, isn't it? 🤔 Perhaps the key to a pain-free back lies in mastering the ancient art of sitting upright in a chair! 😂💺 Or you could just embrace the slouch life and invest in a good massage chair. 😅👐"

always, back, back pain, chair, humor, hurt, i, irony, never, pain, posture, say, self-awareness, sitting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

0

2 months ago

communication, disdain, expression, face, hide, honesty, humor, much, reaction, sarcasm, saying, sorry
Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

0

2 months ago

chef, conversation, gordon, Gordon Ramsay, humor, me, only, ramsay, relationship, sarcasm, talking
If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

0

2 months ago

depressed, exercise, feel, health, humor, irony, mental, mental health, physical, physical health, run, self-awareness, soon, worse
I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

0

2 months ago

bring, eat, food, fun, going, humor, i, lunch, meeting, meetings, pickle, vibe, workplace
They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

0

2 months ago

betrayal, cooking, flavor, food, humor, kitchen, recipe, same, sauce, steal, taste, theft
Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

0

2 months ago

bell, body, cravings, fast, fast food, food, humor, indulgence, needs, punishment, sometimes, taco, Taco Bell

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Facebook this month:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

86 shares on Slack this month:

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

63 shares on WeChat this month:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

24 shares on Threads this month:

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

74 shares on Slack this month:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

41 shares on Threads this month:

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Another customer getting a haircut started talking to my barber. Please don’t talk to my barber. You have your own.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,708

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Making waves on Slack:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Shared recently on Telegram:

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

Spotted on Facebook:

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Spotted on Telegram:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

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