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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,268

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Just shared via Messenger:

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

Trending via Facebook:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Live now on YouTube:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Going bananas on Threads:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Just landed via Facebook:

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

2 months ago

0

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, it's a mystery for the ages, isn't it? 🤔 Perhaps the key to a pain-free back lies in mastering the ancient art of sitting upright in a chair! 😂💺 Or you could just embrace the slouch life and invest in a good massage chair. 😅👐"

always, back, back pain, chair, humor, hurt, i, irony, never, pain, posture, say, self-awareness, sitting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

0

2 months ago

disinformation, humor, i, irony, joke, lie, politics, remember, satire, truth, used
I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

0

2 months ago

bed, dangerously, edge, foot, humor, i, life, live, living, living life, night, over, risk, sticking
Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

0

1 week ago

alive, app, digital, digital pet, going, humor, irony, keep, mobile, mobile app, needs, offline, pet, someone, Tamagotchi, technology, virtual, virtual pet
Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

0

2 months ago

activity, apocalypse, dreaming, entertainment, fun, fun activity, humor, night, nights, Saturday, show, shows, watching, zombie
Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

0

2 months ago

breathing, humor, interrupt, joke, rest, sleep, threat
Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

0

2 months ago

busines, business, drama, entertainment, everyone, humor, irony, media, society, tabloid

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on X this month:

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

81 shares on Instagram this month:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

53 shares on Slack this month:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,378

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

With my staggering 91% survival rate, you’d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

Making waves on Facebook:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

Just landed via Telegram:

It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

Trending via Threads:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Making waves on Slack:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

Going viral on Instagram:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

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