Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is thinking every inconvenience is the universe personally attacking me.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

289 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,558

Funny Quotes Topics

17,611

Funny Quotes Images

15,558

Jan 11, 2026

3,391

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Making waves on Facebook:

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Sometimes it feels better not to talk. At all. About anything. To anyone.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Making waves on Messenger:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Going viral on YouTube:

Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

2 months ago

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs insults when you can sprinkle a little sweetness on top of pure sarcasm? 🍬😏 It's like giving a backhanded compliment wrapped in a warm hug. 😜😇 Let's keep 'em guessing with our perfectly blended sincerity and sarcasm – the ultimate playful combo! 🤭💁‍♂️"

communication, humor, insult, nice, sarcasm, sarcastic, say, someone, something, tone, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

4 weeks ago

AI, emotion, human, human emotion, humor, machine, me, much, never, put, replace, replacement, self-loathing, technology
The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

2 months ago

beauty, beauty product, cosmetics, discontinued, favorite, first-world, first-world problem, frustration, having, lover, makeup, makeup lover, problem, product
Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

2 months ago

attitude, determination, different, frustration, humor, i, light, mind, mindset, mood, negative, negativity, perspective, rude, sarcasm, somebody, something, stand, upset
I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

2 months ago

back, braces, dental, done, having, humor, i, irony, perfect, perfect tooth, point, reason, self-image, smile, teeth, tooth
Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

2 months ago

children, example, experience, humor, lice, much, return, working
I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

2 months ago

alone, humor, i, independence, introvert, lot, nothing, personal, personal space, solitude, space

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Reddit this month:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

22 shares on X this month:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

17 shares on Threads this month:

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

81 shares on X this month:

Being a writer means canceling your plans so you have time to write, and then spending hours avoiding writing.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

73 shares on Discord this month:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were you, I would rather be me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

289 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,558

Funny Quotes Topics

17,611

Funny Quotes Images

15,558

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,550

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

Going viral on Twitch:

Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

Shared recently on TikTok:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Just landed via Pinterest:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

Just landed via Slack:

I totally understand those uncles and aunts who don’t attend gatherings.

Live now on Instagram:

I’m one group chat away from vanishing into the woods to befriend forest creatures.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Shared recently on Threads:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴