Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.
  • The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.
  • When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.
  • When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.
  • There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.
  • Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.