Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.