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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

My parents think they know me.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,963

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

They always say, there is someone for everyone… unfortunately, the person for me is a therapist.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.

Just shared via Threads:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Trending via Telegram:

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

Making waves on Threads:

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

Making waves on Slack:

Sorry, babe, can’t right now. The group chat is active, and I’m trying to get my joke in before they change topics.

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

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Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Seems like even your teeth are trying to avoid their fate! 🚫🦷 Maybe your dentist needs a lesson in personal space… 😂 #ToothEscape"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

83 shares on X this month:

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

10 shares on Telegram this month:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Love is in the air fryer.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,768

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I have no prime. I will evolve till I die.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Please hesitate to reach out.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

Spotted on WeChat:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

Just landed via Threads:

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

Just landed via Reddit:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Breaking via Telegram:

Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

Going viral on Facebook:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Making waves on Discord:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

Spotted on YouTube:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Breaking via Telegram:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

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