Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Dec 23, 2025

3,710

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Spotted on TikTok:

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

Trending via Snapchat:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Trending via Discord:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Going viral on X:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Freshly posted on Discord:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

2 months ago

0

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the kitchen drama turned into a bathroom surprise plot twist! 🪳🚽 Who knew a cockroach could cause such a household adventure? Just another day in the life of an unexpected insect relocation expert! 🤣 #HouseholdHijinks

bathroom, cleaning, cockroach, domestic, domestic life, everything, humor, husband, kitchen, life, prank, relationship, thought, today, yesterday

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

0

1 month ago

cards, crush, dating, day, humor, love, me, romance, shave, still, time, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day, week
I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

0

2 months ago

adulting, around, chores, cleaning, fold, hear, humor, i, know, last, laundry, lying, motivation, needs, procrastination, right, Sunday, time
Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

0

5 months ago

backpack, bring, childhood, day, elementary, elementary school, free, freedom, having, i, last, last day, nostalgia, school, time, truly
I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

0

3 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, club, embarrassment, humor, ID, preference, setting, situation, social, social setting, strip, strip club, Subway
Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, adulting, body, changes, growing, hair, humor, life, losing, means, want
Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

0

2 months ago

celebration, excuse, fight, fighting, fun, humor, i, late, party, right, sorry

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Twitch this month:

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

66 shares on Messenger this month:

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

22 shares on Reddit this month:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

60 shares on Slack this month:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

17 shares on Slack this month:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,980

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m so unpopular at school they call me “Batteries”. I’m never included in anything.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

Live now on Facebook:

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Just shared via Messenger:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Breaking via Slack:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Just shared via TikTok:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Trending via Slack:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Spotted on Reddit:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

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