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Commentary:
"Cleaning the house to your old clubbing tunes? That's the grooviest retirement plan ever! 🎶🧹 Who needs a DJ when you can just spin that mop!"

adulthood, age, clean, cleaning, getting, getting old, house, housework, music, nostalgia, old, used

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

0

2 months ago

blowing, crazy, everywhere, ex, humor, nature, relationship, today, trash, watch, weather, wind
I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

0

2 months ago

always, best, humor, i, irony, self-reflection, shouldn’t, things
Not going is the new leaving early.

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2 months ago

early, event, going, humor, leaving, new, not going, procrastination, social
Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

0

2 months ago

call, calls, cell, cell phone, communication, honesty, humor, i, ignored, ignored call, missed, missed call, phone, six, tell, truth
Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

0

2 months ago

activity, awesome, cleaning, fun, fun activity, hoarder, house, humor, i, just, procrastination, self-assessment, think, TV, watch
For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

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2 months ago

call, doctor, humor, i, joke, just, medical, medical profession, misunderstanding, oncologist, profession, thought, times

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Facebook this month:

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

65 shares on Facebook this month:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

88 shares on Discord this month:

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Making waves on YouTube:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

Spotted on Discord:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

Broadcasted on X:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Spreading quickly via X:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Going viral on WeChat:

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

Just landed via TikTok:

The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

Not going is the new leaving early.

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨