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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,327

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Breaking via Reddit:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Making waves on Twitch:

Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

Making waves on YouTube:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Just landed via WeChat:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

Live now on YouTube:

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

Just shared via YouTube:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

1 week ago

Funny quote about appreciating things, comparing loss to toilet paper’s absence with playful humor.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the wise words of someone who truly understands the value of the little things in life! Who knew that the humble toilet paper could teach us such profound lessons in gratitude and appreciation? Remember, folks, never underestimate the power of a well-stocked bathroom!"

absence, essential, essential items, everyday, everyday life, good, humor, items, life, necessity, paper, realization, toilet, toilet paper

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Reddit this month:

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

70 shares on Slack this month:

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

35 shares on X this month:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

90 shares on Discord this month:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

37 shares on Discord this month:

One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner. No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Telling my boss I can’t come back to work because I’ve discovered the joy of doing nothing.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,469

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

First World War. Kind of nervous.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

Making waves on YouTube:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Live now on Reddit:

Kids these days are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7, and my mom made me walk it off.

Just landed via Discord:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Going viral on WeChat:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I miss you when I wake up before you.

Going viral on TikTok:

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

Making waves on Twitch:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

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