Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Jan 6, 2026

3,567

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Just shared via Messenger:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Breaking via YouTube:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Breaking via YouTube:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Breaking via Messenger:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Trending via X:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Shared recently on Threads:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Going viral on Reddit:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Making waves on Reddit:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

2 months ago

0

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the carefree days of our youth…until a peer casually drops the news they're entering the realm of adulting with a mortgage 🏠😅 Here's to those of us still mastering the art of not setting off the fire alarm while cooking!"

adulthood, age, buying, check, day, good, good day, having, house, humor, reality, reality check, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.

0

5 months ago

attention, aura, aura farming, behavior, checking, distraction, farming, front, funny situation, listening, music, old, old person, people, person, phone, public, public behavior, situation, social, social behavior
I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

0

2 months ago

blood, call, cravings, eat, emotions, everything, everywhere, feel, huge, humor, i, me, menstruation, people, period, scared, shark, Shark week, snapping, want, week
Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

0

2 months ago

chasing, Easter, Easter egg, egg, eggs, game, games, gaming, gaming humor, hide, humor, item, items, place, rare, rare item, video, video game, waterfall, where
Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

0

2 months ago

appreciate, back, being, humor, important, life, me, offline, online, time
Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

0

2 months ago

employment, humor, i, interview, interviewer, job, me, response
Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

0

2 months ago

ChatGPT, fact, family, father-in-law, humor, jokes, keeps, making, making stuff up, passing, stuff, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on TikTok this month:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

11 shares on TikTok this month:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

48 shares on X this month:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

83 shares on X this month:

The money I made gradually, you need urgently?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,701

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Live now on Messenger:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Making waves on Pinterest:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Spotted on Messenger:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

Broadcasted on Discord:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Just landed via Reddit:

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

Breaking via Threads:

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

Going viral on Slack:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

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