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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.
  • It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.
  • Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.
  • If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.
  • I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.
  • My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.