35 funny hang quotes - Wordgag

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

May 30, 2026

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

May 30, 2026

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

May 30, 2026

Hang in there, it gets worse.

May 29, 2026

Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.

May 29, 2026

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

May 29, 2026

Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

May 28, 2026

Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

May 28, 2026

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

May 28, 2026

I’m in my thirties, but I still feel like I am in my twenties; then I hang out with people in their twenties, and I’m like nope, definitely in my thirties.

May 28, 2026

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

May 28, 2026

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

May 27, 2026

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

May 27, 2026

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

May 27, 2026

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

May 27, 2026

Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

May 26, 2026

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

May 25, 2026

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

May 25, 2026

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

May 24, 2026

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

May 24, 2026

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

May 24, 2026

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

May 23, 2026

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

May 23, 2026

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

May 23, 2026

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

May 23, 2026

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

May 22, 2026

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

May 22, 2026

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

May 22, 2026

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

May 21, 2026

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

May 20, 2026

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

May 20, 2026

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

May 20, 2026

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

May 20, 2026

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

May 20, 2026

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

May 20, 2026